We spent the first week of our trip to India in Goa hanging out at a resort, laying in the sunshine, playing cards or just lounging around watching the Olympics. Oh, except for the food poisoning and resulting toilet hugging – yeah, that part wasn’t fun.
Almost my entire family (mother’s side) gathered at the Haati Mahal resort to celebrate my Nana’s 80th birthday. I haven’t seen most of them in years and of course none of them had ever met the boys, so it was an amazing reunion all around.
Goa is absolutely beautiful and so colorful, thanks to its Portuguese history. The buildings are often falling apart or covered in mildew and under construction, but somehow still gorgeous. So much so, that E was ready to pack up and move there on the drive from the airport to the hotel.
Yeah. The whole food (or possibly water) poisoning was the low point of the trip. Thankfully I’ve visited India multiple times and traveled around the world as a kid, so it only hit me briefly with about an afternoon/evening of toilet hugging. E, however, spent two days pretty out of it and unfortunately Oliver seemed to get it as well, judging by his diaper surprises (‘scuse the TMI!). To recuperate, E spent an afternoon soaking in the sun by the pool and getting a massage and I had my first ever facial at the spa.
Strange thing happened though. I think it was only the second or third time I truly had ‘relaxation’ time for myself since the boys birth, but for the life of me, I could not relax. It actually took 45 minutes of mentally telling myself to stop thinking about whether the boys were ok, to try to enjoy myself, to trust they were perfectly fine without me, etc for me to even de-stress a little. And as soon as I did, I fell asleep on the table out of sheer sleep-deprived exhaustion.
Is that what happens when you’re a new(ish) mom, especially a mother of multiples? You forget you’re a normal human being even when the kids aren’t around? I haven’t quite figured out why I constantly feel like things will go wrong if I’m not there taking care of the boys. I’m not sure if it’s because I had almost zero control while they were in the NICU, or if I just learned to need control when I was taking care of them all night and almost all day for the first three months home. If I didn’t stick to a schedule, things got completely chaotic and I wouldn’t get more than 20 minutes sleep at a time, if that.
Whatever it was, I went from a girl who never stressed to a wife and mother who has to remind herself to relax. Sure, it’s not all the time, but sometimes I feel like it’s worse now that I’m home full-time. I’m trying to find things that I can do for myself, by myself, to remember who I was before E and the boys, but it’s hard to squeeze time out between the things I have to do daily for the boys, things around the house I try to avoid (laundry, anyone?) and time to spend with E. I’ve found that being all three – Wife, Mom and Myself – is nearly impossible. Two of those vie for attention constantly, because it seems only two can reign at the same time. Therefore, I feel like one of those three parts of me is doing a really bad job. It’s a different part every day, but it never fails that at the end of the day, I feel like I neglected one bit somehow.
Enough of that tangent, though, this is about our lovely days in Goa and how much we enjoyed ourselves on the trip (I swear, we really did!).
I haven’t been to Goa in almost 10 years, so it was like seeing it again for the first time. Everything is so green and the air is heavy with water during the monsoon. The boys had an absolutely blast with their Indian family and had a ton of ‘firsts’ throughout the week. Fresh coconut water anyone?
We also spent a couple of days checking out the open market in Margao, where E got his first glimpse of how the population in India generally buys groceries…
Anyone else take an international trip with toddlers this summer? I’m always excited to hear how other people travel with little ones. Also, I have to ask, any other women out there feel like you lost a part of yourself along the road to marriage and motherhood and have to dig deep to find it? Don’t get me wrong, I love my new role, but in the moments where I’m going out of my mind, I sorely miss simply being unattached. But then I would have a hole in my heart where my boys are now, so really it’s not even worth thinking about!